i'm doing it again.

:|

fuck.

People are a mystery.

i don't understand them at all. 

i don't understand the double standards, the guilt, the judgement. 

i'm doing them as we speak. 

i dislike double standards, but i have some.

i'm judging the people for judging. 

i have as much of a forked tongue as everyone else, and i say vengeful things like the rest of you, but the thing i absolutely hate is being guilt tripped over something that is none of your concern.

what i do is my business.

if it involves you, it's also your business. if it doesn't, it's not, so keep your comments to yourself. 

i'm sorry i don't live the life you'd want me to live, and i'm sorry if it changes your perception of me. 

i'd love you the same no matter what you did.

i love you for you, not what you do. 

i tell people this all the time. you can't give man free will, and then try to control someone else's. you can't take something that should be a want and make it a requirement. 

you want me to get biblical? i'll get biblical. 

God gave man free will so we would love Him because we WANT to love Him, not because we have to. He's not a dictator, and even though he could make us, he doesn't. 

there are three categories of people who can make you do anything against your will.

1. God.

2. Your parents.

3. Your boss/superiors.

not you, not me, not anyone else. 

my name is blake, and i don't know what to think anymore.

learn to think before you speak.

i must have missed this life lesson, because my fat mouth gets me in more trouble than i dare speak of.

i'm so bad at controlling my words when things get out of hand.

i become the biggest asshole on the planet, and say things i regret.

i hurt people when they don't deserve to be hurt.

i say things like i mean them, even when i don't. 

i do exactly what i criticize so many people for. 

i become a blind hypocrite, unable to see the ridiculous things spewing forth from my retarded brain, spitting contradictions like acid. 

there aren't many people i can't live without, but you're one of them. 

i'm sorry. really. i doubt you'll read this, but i'm saying it anyway. 

i love you. 

On recent events..

Mm. So much to say, so much time to say it. :)

I don't even remember what the last actual post I wrote said. Oh well.

Obviously, I didn't get shot by the crazy cellphone bandit plaguing Delta 3 & 4. Woot. 

That was, what, Thursday? 

Fridayyyy. Happy New Years! That was super fun. 

(I know Brooke will flip when she reads this.. but it was New Years. Ha.)

We started early-ish. Went to Toomey's around 2 to buy masks, they were SUPPOSED to close at 4, but they're stupid. They let us in, though. Sweeties. 

Once we purchased our masks for the Masquerade party at the Music Box that night, we split up and Daniel and I went to IHOP. 

Mmm, IHOP. I forgot what I got. Some fried food sampler. My poor arteries.. 

Then we went to Target to buy some junk for D's apartment, we found Monica at work and soon after Dean, Lisa & India came along. I even saw Allison, haha. 

What happened after that? Oh. We went back to his Apartment and Brittney came over to start the partayy. 

Went up to the gas station to get some goods, came back. Went back to my room to shower and get ready, Brittney had downed a bottle of Arbor Mist already and was freaking hilarious. Once we'd gotten ready, we took some pics. 

From there, we went to Monica's apartment to meet up and head to the Box. We all took shots to commemorate the beginning of our night (all except for the drivers. we're underage, but we're responsible). 

Once reaching downtown, the line for the Box was a little retarded, Daniel and Jeffrey ditched us for B-Bob's, and I went to go pee in a bush because I was about to go all over myself, so I stumbled all around downtown looking for a secluded area so I wouldn't get arrested haha. Mission accomplished! 

It still took forever for us to get in after that, but once we did, it was really fun. 

Joe, Jessica, and AJ came a little after midnight, this was my first legit New Years experience! 

Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone for a traditional "New Year's Kiss" at midnight, so that's all that was lacking. I was with the people I love, minus a few, and that was enough. :)

Poor planning, but I had to be on a bus to Atlanta at 8AM the next morning. We got back from downtown around 4-ish after a pitstop at Waffle House. 

I came back to my dorm and showered and packed what I could, and headed up to sleep in Springhill's parking lot because I KNEW I wouldn't wake up for it if I actually slept in my bed. 

Not a good idea to get on a 6-hour bus ride with a hangover. :\

I've come to the conclusion I'm just a bitch. I'm super hard to get along with and stuck up as can be. It's time for a change. People don't like people who don't like other people. Everyone has flaws and it's not my place to pick them to pieces like a vulture because something they do irks me.

There's a lot I need to work on.

Weight.

Habits.

Words. 

Personality. 

Individuality. 

Confidence. 

Openness. 

Shame.

Regret. 

Pride. 

Vanity.

Lust. 

You get the point.